Coelacanth

I wanted to start off by saying that from PaleoStax we would cross the spectrum of decks and look at PaleoFish, but I thought about it and realized that’s not really that much of a transition.

Stax is a full-on prison lockdown deck, granted, and that’s a far cry from Fish, which is probably either aggro-conrol or control-aggro, depending on the build. I would say UG is definitely aggro-control while UW is more control-aggro, for example—again, depending on the build. In 1995, though, both builds would be almost the same sort of aggro-control, just completely different looks.

Like it’s modern counterpart, PaleoFish, which I have named formally Coelacanth but still call PaleoFish because it’s easier for people who don’t know to understand, has efficient beaters and control:

4x Flying Men
4x Savannah Lions
4x Serendib Efreet

4x Counterspell
4x Force Spike
4x Power Sink
4x Swords to Plowshares
2x Wrath of God
2x Disenchant

1x Time Walk

1x Ancestral Recall

1x Mox Sapphire
1x Mox Pearl
4x Strip Mine
4x Mishra’s Factory
4x Tundra
4x Desert
5x Island
3x Plains

Theoretically it should stay alive long enough to get its last few points of damage in and take home the V.

For the record, I’m pretty sure PaleoStax would absolutely crush this. Prove me wrong.

I’ve had some epic battles against the computer with this deck, though. Since most of the computer decks are also fans of the small creatures, it sometimes comes down to who can race the fastest and disrupt just a little bit more, which is cool because they can usually race faster and I can usually disrupt more. Matches are often heated and come down to the wire.

Force Spike and Power Sink are usually really good because the computer usually tries to tap out every turn. Power Sink was really, really good back in the day because you could use it to screw up the entirety of someone’s turn rather than them tapping all their lands in response to the Sink and float mana like you can now under the new rules.

Probably the one card I would drop from this list is Desert. I know it’s really good in PaleoStax, but it’s just too much colorless mana in a deck that needs to get counter mana. I would probably drop it for another Serendib Efreet and another Disenchant or for two Nevinyrral’s Disks.

Also, I’ve never gotten to use Old Man of the Sea in a deck, and I wanted to here because the picture is excellent and the ability’s not too bad either. I had this strategy planned out where my opponent will go to cast Unholy Strength on a Will o’ the Wisp, and I’ll sic the geezer on it in response. I could throw in Cities of Brass so that I’ll have regeneration mana!

You could probably make UB Fish and UR Fish circa 1995 as well:

UB Fish

-4 Swords to Plowshares
-2 Wrath of God
-2 Disenchant
-4 Tundra
-3 Plains
-3 Old Man of the Sea
-4 Savannah Lions
-1 Mox Pearl

+4 Terror
+2 Unholy Strength
+2 Dark Ritual
+3 Nevinyrral’s Disk
+4 Hypnotic Specter
+4 Underground Sea
+3 Swamp
+1 Mox Jet

This gives you the great aggressive power of Hypnotic Specter and allows you greater board-clearing possibilities behind Le Bouton du Reset, Nevinyrral’s Disk. Plus, you still get to kill creatures with Terror, just not the black or artifact ones.

The card I’m not sure about is Unholy Strength; +2/+1 is pretty good, especially when it’s coming at you attached to a Flying Man, but I’m not too crazy about it being a creature enchantment. I can’t think of any one-drop black creatures, though, aside from Will o’ the Wisp and Bog Rats, neither of which is aggressive enough for me. The proper change may be +4 Nevinyrral’s Disk, +3 Dark Ritual, or vice versa.
UR Fish

-4 Swords to Plowshares
-2 Wrath of God
-2 Disenchant
-4 Tundra
-3 Plains
-3 Old Man of the Sea
-4 Savannah Lions
-1 Mox Pearl

+4 Lightning Bolt
+3 Nevinyrral’s Disk
+4 Ironclaw Orcs
+4 Blood Lust
+4 Vocanic Island
+3 Mountains
+1 Mox Ruby

Okay, this one’s probably not very good (as though the last two were, ha!), but I forgot there wasn’t a lot of good direct damage back then that didn’t mean tapping out for a Fireball. Of course, I’ve never thought you could go wrong by throwing 4x Lightning Bolt into a deck, even if you’re going to be all scrubby and aim it at someones face during your first main phase.

Anyway, in this case Blood Lust does double duty making your first turn Flying Men into a five-point play and bringing that opposing Shivan Dragon or Lord of the Pit into Bolt range.

Nevinyrral’s Disk is still a powerhouse since neither red nor blue can deal very well with enchantments and I didn’t want to put a narrow card like Shatter into the deck. And Ironclaw Orcs is the Sligh player’s original gangsta, I think. I hope I used that term right. Somebody tell me if I didn’t. Anyway, if their drawback comes into effect, I’ll burn it out and then attack anyway and probably Blood Lust it too, just for good measure.

This may actually be the case where you can add in a Desert or two. The single reds won’t be as big a chain on your mana as the double mana costed Wrath and Specter, and if you’re willing to take four extra damage against an opponent, they can also kill something that’s been Blood Lusted.

After playing UB Fish in Vintage, I’ve realized that it’s a deck that plays the odds a lot. It will definitely take advantage of a weak starting opponent by Wastelanding them into a mana screw or countering their key draw spell or just attacking quickly enough. It’s such a versatile deck, and that’s one of the reasons I love it so much; you can think about your deck and know that whatever problem comes up, you’ll be ready to stop it as soon as you draw into your answer.

Personally, I don’t think Fish could really ever come into its own until the printing of Force of Will, but Force Spike is almost as good against an opponent who will try to tap out early and often. It makes these simple builds viable, at least in their environment.

Try out a build like this in any format, even if it’s a budget deck. You might surprise yourself with some successes, or at least some pretty exciting games. Just remember to use the cheapest disruption and the most efficient creatures that go with that disruption.

Plus, they’ll make you a better player as you’ll learn to distinguish actual threats from red herrings and things you’ll be able to deal with better later.

Or just toss in a couple of Jittes and go to town.

After this, I swear I’ll stop talking about decks from my childhood.