Soylent Green is People!

It sounds like Standard will be a mess of blue. Everyone I talk to, including myself (with whom I have the most enlightening conversations) wants to play blue. It’s really, really strong right now in combination with any color, even itself

Probably the major reason it’s so good right now is because it’s so versatile. With Unstable Mutation and Flying Men, blue is in a terrific position to play the beatdown game. It even has shadow creatures to get damage through. It has direct damage in Psionic Blast, which is sickeningly out of color right now. It can even play land destruction and mana denial with Boomerang.

In a direct challenge to blue’s dominance, I have decided that my deck for the upcoming Standard season will be mono-green.

I’m pretty much the worst Magic player ever.

My theory with Standard is that I don’t want to put money into it. I put money into Vintage, and Vintage gladly accepts all I’m willing to give it. Hence, I played UR Ire & Splice into the ground. It cost me approximately $2 to build a year and a half ago and it served me well.

R.I.P. Ire of Kaminari
a.k.a. Ire of Kuminaro
a.k.a. Ire of Kanahari
a.k.a. Iray of Kamaranamami
a.k.a. That [bad word] Stupid [very bad word] [VERY VERY bad word] Red Card!

So anyway, my Standard deck will not be a winning deck. Sure it will steal some wins every now and again simply by virtue of mana screw and proper metagame, but for the most part I’m just looking for a deck to play every once in a while when I can’t bum a better deck off of someone else.

Anyway, since it looks like blue is going to be the hot color for the next few years, I’m playing mono-green.

And I’m playing it with Scragnoth!

Scragnoth
4G
Creature – Beast
Scragnoth cannot be countered.
Protection from blue.
3/4

Eff-tee-double-you.

This is actually the list I have planned out. It’s got a nice curve and no tricks. I pretty much just want to smash all night and sleep ev-er-y day.

4x Llanowar Elves
4x Thallid
4x Giant Growth
4x Wall of Roots
4x Naturalize
4x Whirling Dervish
4x Spike Feeder
4x Trained Armodon
4x Mwonvuli Acid Moss
4x Scragnoth
20x Forest

Oh, wow, that’s pretty bad.

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing.

Better?

Good.

The list goes up the curve: 12 one-drops, 12 two-drops, eight three-drops, four four-drops, and four five-drops. Seems okay, right? This would be a type of deck that Jamie Wakefield would say needs 26 lands and 62 cards. Maybe he’s right. With so few unique cards in it, the odds of finding something playable are still pretty good with slightly more cards in the deck.

Unfortunately, I don’t want to drop anything or add more lands. I’m a strict 2/3-spells, 1/3 lands kind of guy.

I’ll run you through the list, though I’m pretty sure the answers are either just “why wouldn’t I use it?” or “I don’t know—I thought it was cool.”

4x Lawnmower Man
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
Seriously, he’s green and makes more green. His existence in the deck makes me think I should have more three drops because there are many times when I’ll just skip over the number two hole.

4x Thallid
“I don’t know—I thought it was cool.”
Yeah, pretty much. I don’t believe I’ve ever played Thallids in Standard, and I know they can get out of hand if they’re not dealt with. My guess is, he’s cannon fodder.

4x Giant Growth
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
Hey! Combat tricks and more damage! Neat!

4x Wall of Roots
“I don’t know—I thought it was cool.”
Remember, at the first tournament this was played at, they decided that the way it was worded meant you could remove counters between turns, when state based effects weren’t checked, and get infinite mana for an instant speed burn spell like Volcanic Geyser? Yeah, too bad they don’t let you do that anymore.

4x Naturalize
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
I’m pretty sure this thing kills artifact acceleration like signets and totems. I bet it also kills random enchantments and artifacts as well. It’s versatile and I’m using it, so shut up.

4x Whirling Dervish
“I don’t know—I thought it was cool.”
My feeling is that anyone who’s not playing blue is going to be playing something hellbent, so I’m going with this little guy. I’ll let you know how he works out. My guess is, “okay.”

4x Spike Feeder
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
There really aren’t a lot of really good three-cost creatures or spells in Standard right now. Probably the better option here is that Phyrexian Snowcrusher guy from Coldsnap, but he would cost me money. I guess it depends on which one’s cheaper. Spike Feeder gets me some lifegain against red decks, though too.

4x Trained Armodon
“I don’t know—I thought it was cool.”
If Tim Aten recommended it to me as being strictly better than War Mammoth about ten years ago, I bet it’s still strictly better than War Mammoth now too. Anyway, see what I said earlier about there not being a lot of good creatures for three mana.

4x Mwonvuli Acid Moss
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
Hopefully, I’ll be able to drop this guy early and after Naturalizing one of my opponent’s signets. It just seems pretty good to me.

Hold on…

Mwonvuli Acid Moss isn’t a creature?! It’s not even a wall or something? Crap. I’ve got to find something else. Mwonvuli Acid Moss is still okay, but I’m not sure why you need acceleration in a green deck if you’ve already got four mana. I’d rather play Creeping Mold.

4x Penumbra Spider
“Why wouldn’t I use it?”
It blocks flyers, twice in some instances. What I said earlier about playable three-drops applies to four-drops as well, apparently. Maybe spitting slug goes in as a three-spot.

4x Scragnoth
“I don’t know—I thought it was cool. Why wouldn’t I use it?”
This guy either breaks the metagame wide open, or I happened to pick up a playset of them cheap. I’m pretty sure the uncounterability is key, especially since Standard has four especially playable counterspells right now: Rune Snag, Mana Leak, Remand, and Cancel.

Actually, it has five if you count Spell Snare, but Spell Snare couldn’t hit Scragnoth if it tried.

Seriously, though, I have high hopes for this deck. I’m sure it’ll punch some noobs in the face because it’s relentless—not like a rampaging gorilla or an angry bull is relentless, mind you, but like a six-year-old with a football helmet and a 50 pound bag of Pixy Sticks is relentless. By which I mean it’s mildly retarded and a lot of fun.

Plus, I won’t need to use a sideboard because I’ve got so many answers in the deck. For example, creatures that do damage and larger creatures that do damage.

If I was going to pick one sideboard card to use, I’d use Freyalise’s Radiance just to shut off people’s Jayemdae Snow’s. It’s a clever idea, using Scrying Sheets and snow-covered lands to sometimes draw extra cards a turn, but that kind of innovation just won’t fly around here, mister. Take your janky manabase and go to the back of the room, please.

Anyway, that’s my idea for Standard, and as soon as I get the cards for it, I’ll be ready to rock and roll.

If only there existed a five-cent box still…