Gassing Up Belcher in Chicago

So after getting semi-stomped in the main tournament for Becker’s collection, I declared my intention to play in the side event for his Forces of Will and Misdirections.

When I found out the side tourney was going to be single elimination, I knew immediately that I wouldn’t be playing Fish.

See, I have this theory, based on some experience, that Fish is not a deck for small tournaments. In the long run (like over at least five rounds) it can do just fine, but when you lose the leeway to make mistakes, you need a deck that makes up for mistakes by handing you wins with broken cards.

As such, I knew I’d be playing Belcher.

Oh yeah!

4x Goblin Charbelcher
4x Empty the Warrens
1x Wheel of Fortune
1x Memory Jar

4x Rite of Flame
3x Seething Song
4x Elvish Spirit Guide
4x Simian Spirit Guide
4x Tinder Wall
5x Moxen
1x Black Lotus
1x Lion’s Eye Diamond
1x Lotus Petal
1x Chrome Mox
1x Sol Ring
1x Mana Vault
1x Mana Crypt
1x Channel
4x Land Grant
1x Taiga

2x Living Wish
4x Goblin Welder
3x Chromatic Star
3x Pyroblast
1x Red Elemental Blast

This is pretty much the same list that I’ve been playing with for a while, but I learned about some interesting changes that I’ll share with you later. It’s surprisingly consistent—just mull to a win condition (the first group of cards) and you’ll probably have the mana to play it.

As far as sideboarding goes, it’s a bit of a mishmash right now:

3x Xantid Swarm
2x Red Elemental Blast
1x Tin Street Hooligan
2x Gorilla Shaman
2x Shattering Spree
1x Skirk Prospector
1x Mishra’s Workshop
1x Tolarian Academy
1x Taiga
1x Ancient Tomb

I learned a lot about the sideboard too, and I’ll share that with you as well.

Anyway, it turned out that, not only was the tournament single elimination, I was also one of eight lucky people who had to play to get into the 32-person standard brackets. That meant that to win I would have to go through one more round than my opponents had.

How cool. I’m not sure how these lucky eight were chosen.

Round 0 – Jesus Roxas – Control Slaver

I didn’t realize at the time, but it was Jesus’s birthday on Saturday and he had brought cupcakes for everyone. Not only did I not wish him a happy birthday, I didn’t even thank him for the cupcakes.

I am Jack’s anus.

Oh, and I turn one killed him both games.

I am Jack’s inflamed hemorrhoids.

I won the die roll and, of course, elected to go first with an amazing opening hand. I played Lotus (see?) and broke it for green, dropping two Tinder Walls and leaving a mana floating. Then I burned down a wall for red mana and a Rite of Flame. The Warrens Emptied for 10 dudes. He Brainstormed. I attacked. He Fetched and Brainstormed again and conceded.

Two Seething Songs and a Chromatic Star exited for two Red Elemental Blasts and a Xantid Swarm.

My opening hand was disgusting but folded to Force of Will. I don’t care because there’s a good chance he doesn’t have it.

Rite of Flame
Rite of Flame
Land Grant
Seething Song
Rite of Flame
Belcher
Card I don’t remember

I revealed my hand for the Land Grant and asked him if he had the Force. He said no, and I apologized. I’m fairly certain that, unless he countered the Land Grant or one of the first two Rites of Flame, I would have been able to drop Belcher. Of course, since I revealed my hand, if he’d had a Force, he probably would have played it correctly. As it was, Jesus scooped to a deckful of Belch.

Sorry, Jesus. Happy birthday, and thanks for the cupcakes!

Round 1 – Craig – Dry Slaver

This was a really fun and challenging match, even though it took a while to get started since my opponent was initially nowhere to be found. The side tournament was structured more loosely than the main event, though, so this was no real problem.

In the meantime, I got to walk around and see Kyle tear some Gifts player’s face off with RG Beats.

Once Craig showed up we got right into it. I mulliganed into a hand with three moxen (including Emerald), Living Wish, and Belcher. I don’t remember what my last card was. Anyway, on the play I did this: Emerald, Pearl, Living Wish for Tolarian Academy. Play Academy, play Sapphire, play Belcher pass. That was plenty of mana to fire next turn for the win, right?

Almost.

He dropped Black Lotus and Gorilla Shaman, eating two of my moxen, then played his own Tolarian Academy to kill mine. Wow, good comeback.

Guess I’ll just have to topdeck Mana Crypt. “Savage,” he said.

Game two wasn’t quite so kind. My opening hand had Empty the Warrens, but the only way to play it was off of spirit guides, and those don’t build storm. My opponent was nice enough to give me a boost by countering Black Lotus with Force of Will, though, and I Emptied the Warrens for six tokens. My guys got in a hit before my opponent went nuts. He countered a second turn Wheel of Fortune of mine before Tinkering for Memory Jar (sending a Belcher to the Graveyard) and Welding it twice to Empty the Warrens for 14 and 12 of his own tokens. I don’t draw an answer, and his platoon of little green men runs roughshod over my tiny patrol.

In game three I broke my own rule of mulling to a hand with a threat by keeping two Elvish Spirit Guides and a Channel but no Belcher or Empty the Warrens, so I’m playing draw-go. In the meantime, my opponent plays a Welder and a Monkey and beats for two a turn for 10 turns. When I got down to three life, I finally decided I was ready to go—I had my Channel, a Belcher, and a way to get around a counter (though I don’t remember what it was now—Welder probably). So I played my bait, which he took and Forced. Then I dropped my two Elvish Spirit Guides and Channel, while my opponent dropped his eyes and said, “Resolves.” Then I played Belcher, died, and shook my opponent’s hand.

Channel is awesome, but it sucks at three life.

I should have done it earlier, since I was holding everything just waiting for good bait. I didn’t even think that he was slowly shutting me off of Channel.

So for the weekend, my version of Belcher didn’t do exceptionally well.

I know you’re disappointed. I was too.

But, good news.

On Sunday at RIW, Ben Perry made a big splash with a one-color Belcher deck that he modified directly from mine. He roared through the swiss to the top eight, eventually losing to Bomberman, a deck of which he had no knowledge or experience and against which I suspect wins would be hard to come by anyway.

Talking to him between rounds and after the tourney, I discovered that he had made all of the changes I had considered but was too afraid to do because I was still trying to keep the look or flavor or something of previous Belcher lists like those of Justin Droba and Michael Simister.

First and foremost, Ben dropped that piece of crap bottleneck Seething Song for the more lithe Desperate Ritual. Even though I and many others hated the Songs because (as Ben pointed out too) once people realize to always counter Song, you lose, I had never wanted to go to Desperate Rituals because they’re only a one-mana gain and the splice would rarely come up. Ben realized, though, that Belcher is already so good on mana that a one mana gain is usually enough to put you into at least four for Belcher or Warrens. Who cares about splice anyway?

Ben also dismissed Chromatic Star as a “cute trick” but one that was ultimately unnecessary in an essentially monocolored deck. If you were using them to draw cards with Welder, you had probably already lost. And if you were using them to cantrip, wouldn’t it be better and cheaper just to have it be the card you wanted?

In place of the Star, Regrowth came back as a second-level threat. It produces extra mana off of a Lotus or Rite of Flame, and it gets back a lost Belcher or Emptied Warrens.

I had tested Regrowth earlier but dismissed it as being weak. I wanted to win off my first condition, not throw it out into a counter and have to Regrow it back, probably with less mana and storm to work with.

It sounds like Ben was happy with it though, and I know he tested it so I’ll give it another shot.

The other two Stars turned into two more Red-Blast effects, taking the deck to six total. This seemed like a lot to me, but Ben said he had never been disappointed, and they were rarely dead cards just because you win so fast. This is a bold move, but one I think I will ultimately get behind. The most commonly run threats to Empty the Warrens is Echoing Truth and Trinket Mage for Engineered Explosives, and this answers both quite well.

Every time Red Force gets played, I miss Duress less and less. Plus, I like to think it makes Mark Trogdon smile.

He was also using an earlier version of my list with only three Goblin Welders and decided that having an extra land in the deck wouldn’t hurt, so he added a Taiga.

Here is Ben Perry’s list and sideboard:

4x Goblin Charbelcher
4x Empty the Warrens
1x Wheel of Fortune
1x Memory Jar

2x Taiga
4x Simian Spirit Guide
4x Elvish Spirit Guide
4x Rite of Flame
3x Desperate Ritual
4x Tinder Wall
4x Land Grant
1x Channel
1x Lotus Petal
1x Lion's Eye Diamond
1x Mana Vault
1x Sol Ring
1x Mana Crypt
1x Chrome Mox
1x Black Lotus
1x Mox Jet
1x Mox Ruby
1x Mox Sapphire
1x Mox Emerald
1x Mox Pearl

2x Living Wish
1x Regrowth
3x Goblin Welder
4x Pyroblast
2x Red Elemental Blast

Side Board

1x Xantid Swarm
1x Skirk Prospector
1x Mogg Fanatic
1x Eternal Witness
1x Bazaar of Baghdad
1x Mishra's Workshop
1x Tolarian Academy
2x Tin Street Hooligan
1x Ancient Grudge
2x Shattering Spree
2x Gorilla Shaman
1x Goblin Welder

I will go on record now as saying this list is considerably better than mine.

Ben’s sideboard is pretty good too, though I do like having more flexible lands to Wish for.

He cut Xantid Swarms down to one, which is awesome because they’re terrible. Xantid Swarms are great if you want to win second turn and they’re decent counter bait, but they don’t help storm and can be played around easily. Worse still, they’re a huge, tempting, distraction that will clog up your hand and your deck. So, good as a Wish target, but don’t side them in.

Ben also synched up the number of counter hating cards maindeck with artifact hating cards in the board. Now, if he plays against Stax, he can side out all Blasts for Hooligans, Sprees, Shamans, and Grudge and put an extra Welder in as well. Mox Monkey is really good against Stax, and I might actually try to get a third into the board. There’s still debate over which of Spree and Grudge is better, but I don’t think it matters much. They’re both pretty good.

I asked him about Eternal Witness but he said he never wished for any creatures out of the board. It’s an interesting idea, but it seems slow. Could work, though.

I asked about Mogg Fantastic too, but I don’t remember what he said. It might be for opposing Welders or Monkeys, but if that’s the case then why wouldn’t he side it in against Stax. I probably wouldn’t use it, but then again, I’m not sure what it’s used for.

Skirk Prospector we both agreed was hilarious. I don’t think either of us has actually ever Wished for him in a game, though.

Seeing this list put together really makes me want to try the deck again.

Twaun will tell you that the first thing I said to him after he mentioned Stephen Menendian’s declaring me knowledgeable in all things Belcher was, “I wish he hadn’t—I hate that deck!”

Well, I take it back.

I’m eager to renew my competetive Belching career.