Reserving a Teeg-time

When Gaddock Teeg made his first appearance, lots of people in lots of formats were excited. “It stops Wrath of God!” “It stops Force of Will!” “It stops Tendrils!” “It stops Fireball!” “It stops Tarmogoyf!”

Okay, well, not so much that last one. I mean, I guess Teeg is probably a speedbump or like a squirrel in the path of the barreling semi that is Tarmogoyf since he can block once by himself, but yeah he really doesn’t do a thing to the best new beef in Magic. Tarmogoyf is a creature, most importantly, and he neither costs four or more nor has X in his casting cost.

For the same reason, Teeg won’t do anything to Vintage’s favorite creatures, Quirion Dryad and Psychatog.

He won’t stop Yawgmoth’s Will or Tinker either.

He won’t stop Flash, Pact of Negation, or Summoner’s Pact.

Or Brainstorm or Merchant Scroll.

Or Ancestral Recall, Black Lotus, or any Moxen. And those Moxen are handy when Tinker doesn’t work.

Most of the really good Stax artifacts survive the Teeging. The only thing that can’t be played is the eponymous Smokestack, which can be Welded in.

He will, however, stop Force of Will, Misdirection, and Gush. Tendrils can’t be cast anymore, but Tendril’s isn’t used anymore anyway. He prevents Mind’s Desire from being played and Yawgmoth’s Bargain, unless it’s slipped into play with Academy Rector.

And, man, Gaddock Teeg hates Belcher with a passion: no Belcher or Empty the Warrens will ever work in this town again.

Basically, there’s an extensive list of pros and cons. Is Gaddock Teeg any good?

I think, yes. The Mayor of Munchkinland is like a Meddling Mage for multiple spells, and those spells are some of the most-played, most-powerful spells in Vintage.

Leaving GAT with only Duress to protect itself puts a huge hitch in its windup, and not the good kind of hitch like Paul Byrd has. Plus, it can’t combo with Fastbond-Gush or even draw cards (except for that whole Brainstorm-Merchant Scroll tag team, which is the real seat of power for the deck).

Of course, that only happens once Teeg hits the board, and this can be a problem.

Gaddock Teeg is green and white. Ugh. Most people aren’t too keen on playing those colors in general, and more people would be even more averse to playing those colors in Vintage, and now you’re telling me we have to play them at the same time?! Gross!

Being two colors hampers his ability to be effective in the first two turns of the game. To play him before turn two, you have to have an appropriately colored land and an appropriate colored Mox. The odds on that are pretty rough—15% on the play if you have four Teegs, Mox Pearl, Mox Emerald, Lotus Petal and Black Lotus, and only 11% if you short yourself a shorty because of his Legendary stat.

Still, most of the cards you’re trying to stop (Empty the Warrens, Gush, et al.) are mid- and late-game cards that get played on turn three or four when the late game starts in Vintage. As such, you should be able to play a little Munchkin Fu by then, even if you’re playing from the topdeck.

So you have to make sure Gaddock Teeg hits play. That means protection, and that means you’re probably playing blue or black, unless you’re playing Xantid Swarm to protect, uh, just Gaddock Teeg really, maybe something big like Tarmogoyf.

Actually, you should be playing blue or black just because that way your deck doesn’t consist of just the two worst colors in all of Magic ever.

If you go for the blue route, you’re probably going to run a three-color Fish list of sorts, mostly blue with splashes of white and green. Something like this perhaps:

4x Force of Will
4x Brainstorm
4x Swords to Plowshares
4x Spell Snare
1x Ancestral Recall
1x Time Walk

4x Meddling Mage
4x Gaddock Teeg
4x Tarmogoyf
4x Stormscape Apprentice
3x Jotun Grunt

3x Tundra
2x Tropical Island
1x Island
1x Plains
1x Forest
3x Flooded Strand
3x Windswept Heath
3x Mishra’s Factory
1x Strip Mine
3x Mox
1x Lotus Petal
1x Black Lotus

That looks fairly playable.

Once Gaddock Teeg hits play, the only card you’ll lose use of is Force of Will, and I think that’s okay. You’ll be able to hoard them while you take control and prevent your opponent from winning. If your opponent tells Teeg to take a long walk of a short pier, then, you’ll have a fistful of counters to get them with.

If you’re anti-dead cards, I’d run Daze in place of Force and Wastelands in place of Mishra’s Factory. You’ll want to have a fairly heavy mana denial contingent if you want Daze to be effective before and after Teeg hits play. You might run something like Stifle too, in place of the Spell Snares.

Plus, this deck gives you Tarmogoyf, which I hear nice things about. Actually, decks with Gaddock Teeg should give you Tarmogoyf since they’re both green and, uh, pretty good.

4x Duress
4x Thorn of Amethyst
4x Leyline of the Void
3x Swords to Plowshares
1x Extirpate
1x Demonic Tutor
1x Vampiric Tutor

4x Dark Confidant
4x Gaddock Teeg
4x Tarmogoyf
4x Aven Mindcensor
3x Jotun Grunt

2x Scrubland
2x Bayou
1x Swamp
1x Plains
1x Forest
2x Bloodstained Mire
3x Windswept Heath
4x Wasteland
1x Strip Mine
5x Mox
1x Black Lotus

Man, that doesn’t actually look half bad!

Duress could be replaced, in whole or in part, with Thoughtseize, clearly, though I’ve already expressed my reservations about that card. It might help a bit in the aggro matchup.

This deck runs the full suite of moxen because it also runs a full suite of Dark Confidants and Aven Mindcensors. Having a first turn Dark Confidant is excellent, and sets any deck on track to victory. It’s one of the key plays that made the Sullivan Solution so successful back in the Tendrils combo era. Having a second turn Aven Mindcensor isn’t too bad either, since that happens to be the time that Merchant Scroll really becomes active.

Leyline of the Void’s power is down overall, I think, but it still deserves a spot maindeck. There’s always the chance you get the turn zero concession out of an unprepared Ichorid deck, and it’s probably the best defense this deck has against Flash. Against GAT and Stax it’s marginal, though sometimes amazing, and it probably deserves a spot just for that.

One selection I’ve really been hyping (at least in my own mind) lately is Smallpox. Smallpox seems like a GAT hater to me, and not bad against other decks either. Since GAT is so light on creatures and lands, having them sacrifice one of each plus discard a card seems pretty good. All for the bargain price of two mana, and you get a damage in for free! The fact that you have to do all of this too makes it merely fair.

I really think the black version is the more interesting version of the two decks, and it may be the more viable one too, mostly since it has a consistent draw engine in Dark Confidant. The blue version, however, has Force of Will, and I am loath to give up my blue cards. (They’re so pretty!)

Anyway, it seems to me that Gaddock Teeg, Tarmogoyf, and Jotun Grunt are a powerful trio, so they’re the three I would look to when making a deck around the new Little Prince of Lorwyn.

Any one of those creatures would be as happy delivering a beating as they are hanging back and playing disruption for a while. Ah, who am I kidding, those three are all about offence. Even wee Gaddock has his tiny shillelagh raised with a defiant gleam in his eye.

His name is Gaddock, and he loves to fight!