Play Flametongue Kavu!

In a creature-filled environment, removal-laced creatures are king.

These are the creatures that people write songs and stories about, the ones that win tournaments and send people home with more cards than they showed up with.

Mountain, Mountain,
Crystal Vein,
Flametongue Kavu—
You’re in pain.

I first noticed this trend with the card listed above. During the Invasion block, there were so many decks that played or splashed red just so they could have a 4/2 beater that took out some other creature when it came into play. As such, every deck also needed to recognize the high percentages of this card and play around it.

When I lurked the forums at Blackborder (they’re dead now, so I’m not including a link) every deck that could conceivably include Flametongue Kavu, and even some that couldn’t, were recommended to include the card out of general good sense or spite or something. It was so prevalent that it inspired me to write an ode about the card, which has since been lost to the Internet wastes, unfortunately. I also made sure to recommend it for every deck, including one kid’s mono-blue Stasis deck, because I was a terribly immature n00b.

Kids, don’t follow my lead in forums, but do follow my lead when I say that creatures with attached direct damage or other creature removal are really pretty good in any format that uses creatures, which is pretty much everything other than Vintage.

Wait, did I say other than Vintage, because that’s not true.

Welder’s hits play,
But I’ve got a spear.
I’m an Icatian
Javelineer.

Or would you rather…

Go ahead, Oath.
It’ll be great.
Duplicant takes
Your angel. It’s fate.

Whichever, man, they both see play. I love seeing that Javelineer gets used in UW Fish to take out Welders and other small angry men. Fallen Empires gets so little recognition. Okay, not really, but Javelineer looks like Jason from that classic movie “Jason and the Argonauts.” If you haven’t seen it, check it out. You won’t regret it, if just because of the skeletons.

The mighty Dups is good too, especially when it can be recurred with Welder. It deals with Colossus, Titans, Oathed up Angels, even Welders if it has to. And one use can often turn the entire game around.

Of course there are others: Triskelion, Grim Lavamancer (if UR Fish ever got played anymore), even Goblin Welders does pretty well against artifact creatures, especially because Darksteel Colossus can’t be Welded back into play.

And just because Vintage uses old cards doesn’t mean it uses the oldest cards.

Prodigal Tim,
The original one:
Ping and then Twiddle
For double the fun.

Prodigal Sorcerer has game against so many of Magic’s popular early creatures. Plus, he combos with Fungusaur like nothing other.

Take a look at all he kills from Revised: Phantasmal Forces, Elvish Archers, Savannah Lions, Benalish Hero, Drudge Skeletons, Dwarven Warriors, Dwarven Weaponsmith, El-Hajjaj(!), Goblin Balloon Brigade, Ley Druid, Llanowar Elves, Merfolk of the Pearl Trident, Mesa Pegasus, Mons’s Goblin Raiders, Nether Shadow, Nettling Imp, himself, Royal Assassin, Samite Healer, Scryb Sprites, Shanodin Dryads, Sorceress Queen, Timber Wolves, Birds of Paradise, Frozen Shade, and Will-o’-the-Wisp.

That’s an extensive list, and it doesn’t even cover improperly handled Kird Apes, Clones, Gaea’s Lieges, Keldon Warlords, Nightmares, Plague Rats, Rock Hydras, Vesuvan Doppelgangers, or all the x/2s he can trade with in combat.

It’s huge!

But let’s not forget the mono-black attack:

He strikes from shadows
When creatures are tapped.
A Royal Assassin
Is worse than the clap.

In a simple creature-based environment, which is most environments, a mono-black deck packing as many Royal Assassins as legally possible can give people fits. Against a tapped attacker, Royal Assassin is as big as you possibly need, even against first strikers.

Still, as good as they are, both Tim and the Assassin have been updated to more potent, slightly less splashable forms.

A blue and a red
Brings goblin merfolk
Against Razorfin Hunter
Your weenies will choke.

And…

One-eight-seven
And things end up dead;
Drop Nekrataal
On top of their head.

I don’t think anyone passes up the chance to play either of these in a limited environment. I even use Razorfin Hunter (probably wrongly) as a sideboard card in my Vintage decks. He deals with a whole bunch of Fish cards plus Welder plus, now, Ichorid and Ashen Ghoul. He even comes down a turn earlier and does damage without attacking! He’s practically broken.

Dissensions got some new creatures like this, and they’re all Rakdos all the time.

Rakdos Ickspitter
He’ll take out your dude
And you’ll lose a life.
It puts me in the mood.

Even if I couldn’t kill a creature with the Ickspitter, I could still leave him out of combat and use his ability to ping a guy and take a life, meaning he’s almost as good as any other pinger in a creature-heavy format. Plus, he keeps people out of combat if you can make him trade one less-valuable creature for a better one.

Plus there’s a new one, and she deals damage to everyone all the time. She’s so good.

Reusable
Lyzolda
The Rakdos
umm…
Freakin bolda?
Stats bloata?
Nutz holda?

It’s so hard to choose because she gives you so many options. You can draw cards, you can deal damage—heck, you can sacrifice her or some other black and red creature and do both—all for a measly two colorless mana. I wouldn’t even think of crediting my victories to anything other than her in the Dissension Prerelease. Pretty much any time she came out and stayed out with mana to use her, I won. I could even end games sooner by attacking and sacrificing creatures.

So good.

I was able to run extra creatures in my Prerelease deck because so many of them doubled as creature removal. It’s something to look forward to, and I would definitely look forward to playing all Rakdos all the time in Standard. There’s so much control and so many good aggressive creatures that can finish a game quickly. It should stack up so well against the slower theories like Azorius and Simic. Plus, I think they’ll be able to keep up with Gruul and Boros if need be. Orzhov and the middling ground decks won’t stand a chance.

Rakdos is a rock, an unmovable boulder of fire and beatings.

Look into it because you won’t even have to think when you play.